...On Getting Old

Let me be clear from the start; this post is not about growing old in general. It's an essay on my feelings, thoughts and reactions to my personal journey of getting old. This post turned out to be a little longer than I intended, but I'm sure I've forgotten to include some things.

This was the US into which I was born. I was born in 1945. WWII was not yet over and the atomic bomb was days away from being dropped on Japan. Cars were big and heavy--made mostly of steel. Racial discrimination and de-facto segregation (in some places de-jure) were the rules that determined race relations. Luckily for me, however, these rules did not govern the family in which I was raised. The only computer that existed in the world was the size of a house, ran on vacuum tubes which it burned out in hours and had the computing power of a digital watch. By the way, there were no digital watches or pocket calculators because there were no transistors or silicone chips. A telephone, if you had one, was a relatively heavy appliance made of Bakelite. It had a  handset into which you spoke and listened. When not in use the handset rested on a large cradle connected by wire. Most people did not even have dial (rotary not buttons) phones. You picked up the hand set and waited for the operator to come on. You then gave her (yes her) the number you wished to reach. Most phone calls were made through an operator. We actually had a party line. This meant that there was one other person on our line. The ring determined which party a call was for. Quaint.

In travel, there were no jetliners. Air travel was for the well-to-do and smoke 'em if you got 'em. Airports were pretty basic. No security, few services. People went on the weekends to watch the planes take off and land. Great fun. Many families in the '50s took their vacations by car.  On weekends we'd go to some lake in Wisconsin with pretty basic accommodations. We'd regularly go to Springfield to visit relatives. Once we drove to New York and DC for a family summer vacation. One summer we took a grand entourage (a three-car convoy) to LA via the old route 66. I think these were fairly typical for American families of the 50's.

Food was fresh or tinned. There were no convenience meals, very little was frozen, and no designer foods. Chefs were often sleazy drunks who worked their asses off many hours a day. My stay-at-home mother cooked, cleaned the house and took care of all in the family. when we were in high school she got a job. My father worked hard and we progressed, even prospering a bit. For the most part, we all ate dinner together. We were allowed to not like a food only after we had tasted it. If we did not like a particular food, we could not put it on our plates. Once it was there, we had to eat it. We, the children, went to school, played and did what we could to be in and out of trouble. We had various chores which we ducked as often as we could. By age 10, I had jobs mowing lawns for a few neighbors and their friends. This put about $10-$15 per week in my pocket -- a princely sum for a kid in the fifties. Some of this I banked, i.e. walked or biked  to a physical building. Gave the teller (remember them?) a passbook and money. She entered the amount to my account, adjusted my passbook and returned it to me. when I began banking, the telleractually hand entered deposits or withdrawals, used an adding machine (not a calculator or a mobile) to figure the balance and hand entered the balance.

So I've seen the advent of all that we see as modern today. None of this is meant to be a complaint about the past or today, on the contrary, things were simpler. Better, maybe yes maybe no, but certainly simpler. All of this is merely to establish from whence I am writing. These are my perspectives. So to have more computing power in my smart phone than ever existed on the entire earth in my youth, absolutely blows my mind.

I am not happy about getting old -- truth be told I am pissed off. I see only two advantages. First, getting old beats hell out of the alternative. (Although, I am not afraid of dying. What I really fear is losing my mental capacity.) Second, I really enjoy having a pretty big bag of experiences on which to draw. Old and sneaky will win over youth and strength every time. Where I am allowed, I try to pass on some of this knowledge. I find myself getting increasingly angry at my mistakes, especially those of memory or strength. I struggle to add muscle mass at a rate faster than it just melts away. I can no longer walk normally due to an aggravated scoliosis, but I do attend physiotherapy and perform exercises and stretching daily to ameliorate the condition. I used to fast walk"fast walk" and work out 6 days a week.   Attaining an ideal weight might be a lost cause, although I can feel my body reshaping.

I've had four surgeries (2 hips and one knee replaced, hernia fixed). When I was growing up, the joint replacements would not have existed and the hernia fix would have been quite different. Chalk up one for modern times.

These things said, I enjoy most young people (for me that includes those below 40). I like their perspective on life. I get a chuckle when they talk about mistakes they make or new experiences they have, because I remember when I made the same mistake or had a similar experience. I hear older people say "I wouldn't do it again" meaning go back and be young again. On the other hand, I'd go back and be young again in a New York minute!

Things that seemed black and white, even as little as 5-10 years ago, are now presenting themselves as various shades of grey. So "being young again" presents a whole new world of difficult decisions.

Do I like modern times? You bet! Food comes from all over the world. Some foods are even made in factories. I can travel in less than a day to parts of the world that it used to take weeks to reach. I can phone across distances and political boundaries whenever I like. If I want, I can phone someone, no matter where, and make friends with them. I generally love things new; love young people (some more than others of course). Although I don't think that old days were good, or better than now, I value the things I've learned.

Generally, I am more patient with others than I used to be. Other people use to just drive me nuts; now I have more perspective and acceptance. However, I am less and less patient with myself and my own mistakes. I look forward to new experiences (yes I'm still learning) and the rest of my life.

Since I began this post, my wife has died. My life partner, my business partner and best friend is gone. She slipped away peacefully, comfortably and with me holding her hand. Friends, current and old customers gave her a great send off. I should be so lucky.

So things have changed and are still changing. Ive also retired and closed the business. I'm learning to rely more on others when they're so inclined. Haven't a clue how I will spend the rest of my days (wouldn't mind a part time job), but I plan on living, learning and having a ball. Stay tuned for more.
Thanks for reading.

On Change...

Change is the only constant in nature. Seasons of the year, the universe is expanding, tectonic plates are shifting, people grow and mature, etc. I cannot think of a single thing that remains unchanged. If this true, why do we behave as if things will always remain the same. Why are we so frightened by change? Change can be scarey, but nothing good happens without it.


The most important, most difficult, changes that we make are those within ourselves. To move house, change jobs, buy a new car are easy changes. However, to create personal growth is very tough. It calls for concentrated effort to alter our habit patterns -- those of outward behavior and those of thought. To change ourselves to become more curious, bold, decisive, etc. are difficult because they call for internal alterations to our attitudes (habits of thought). These changes call for us to move outside of our cozy envelopes called our comfort zone. Somewhat scarey.


I especially enjoy seeing people grow. When I taught secondary school, freshmen would try to act mature, but you could see the fear, apprehension and insecurity in the eyes. When the same people were seniors. They exuded a certain level of confidence; more self-assured. It's a gas.

It is amazing that with all of the changes we undergo in our lives, that we are essentially the same person that we were before. I think what happens is that time, age, experience and individual actions tend to act as buffing pads that round off our edges.

I will be adding to this post, so keep an eye out.

YOUR HOST

Remember, this is a self-description; nothing objective. So I will unzip my fly, just a little.

I was born 1945, bred and educated in Chicago. I have been married to the love of my life since 1971. Together we used to own, run and work in a small award-winning cafe in Ireland, as such we have achieved a tiny bit of fame. We currently own, run and work in a VERY small award-winning bakery specializing in artisan breads and sweets.

In the cafe, I worked more than 60 hours a week. You could say I was the business;  if I went down for an extended period, we'd have to take extraordinary measures or the business would fail. With the bakery, my helper could carry the load alone for a while.

I am still struggling to adjust to a foreign land. (Ireland's fine but it ain't home; Chicago's home, but it ain't mine no more. Apologies to Neil Diamond). Even after 18 years, I'm still trying to figure out Ireland.

I began this post thinking that I am just a typical guy -- average height, below average looks, overweight, typical male-pattern baldness. Then I realized I'm creating my own blog. In the last 4 years I've had 4 surgeries, got my ear re-pierced (first done at age 50), learned how to text and send photos, opened two social network pages (even with a lot of help, I'm still a techno dummy) and invented two new cookies and a chocolate granola bar, opened a new business, developed the brookie (a brownie covered cookie) and the mookie (milky way bar baked into a chocolate chip cookie) and a couple of new breads. Ain't dead yet I guess.

I think I have a pretty good sense of humor, although warped.  I think sardonic might describe it. A mix of sarcasm and irony. I like it that way. Love a good laugh, especially if it's at my expense. Be warned, there will be no "lol's" on my blog. On Twitter and Facebook, I have to include lol, because people have been misunderstanding me. They sometimes think my jokes are meant seriously.

Although my wife might see it differently, I think I'm a good listener. I tell the truth, at least as I see it. If I say to you I believe something to be true, you can be sure I do. I won't offer an opinion on something important unless asked, and I am very reluctant to give advice. I do my best to be the best. At the risk of being labeled a braggart, I'm a credible chef, an excellent cook and a fine baker. Former careers include secondary school teacher, supervisor at senior citizen dining sites, business and personal development consultant, school administrator, chef.. I have a B.S in Psychology, M.A. Geography, 30 graduate hours in clinical psychology, A.A.S. Culinary Arts.

More personally, I'm not a very good son or brother. I might be a better than average husband, but just barely.

I may be one of the few men who look a woman in the eye, when we first meet. For me, the eyes tell all. If I see interest or life in her eyes. then I might speak. I find women more interesting than men, don't know why. Do know it has nothing to do with sexual attraction.

My favorite songs are Slow Hand--Pointer Sisters, Like to Get to Know You--Spanky and Our Gang, Lady in Red--Chris Deburgh (this one make me cry), Better Place to Be--Harry Chapin (also makes me cry), I Want To Learn a Love Song--Harry Chapin (yes, I cry with this one too). I think my number one favorite song in Scotch and Soda--Kingston Trio. Don't cry with this one, but it just says it all.

In 2016, Ruth died. Even typing it is hard.  Before, I could not imagine this must emotional pain. For 45 years we were lovers, partners, best friends. I know she's in a better place unhurt and no pain. See you later my friend.

So now I'm trying to fashion a new life. I'm retired, but looking into part-time work to help me re-fashion. Been through 2 jobs already. Looked into one volunteer group...naaah!

Another Political Party...FAIRNESS

The Republic of Ireland needs a new political party. The liberal left is adequately represented by more than one party. The center-left, the same.  This leaves a group disenfranchised -- the conservative right and center-right voters. There is no party that represents these. I am proposing this new party for them. It is for younger people to take up this cause and register and promote this party. The following is a brief outline of a manifesto for the FAIRNESS PARTY. This document contains only broad principles; no specifics. Specification is to be added later by legislation.


BASIC PRINCIPLES


1. We believe that people are free and equal.
2. Government exists solely to insure freedom and justice for its citizens.


Derived Principles


1. People are responsible for their own behavior.
2. We distinguish between rights and privileges.
3. Each right or privilege carries with it corresponding responsibilities.
4. People under 18 years of age cannot give informed consent.
5. Private property and the right to own it are to be protected.
6. The nuclear family is one that is headed by two unrelated adults in a committed relationship.
7. Children are the responsibility of their parents.
8. No individual or group will be identified for special treatment.
9. We recognize the status of political refugee; not that of economic refugee.
10. Certain professions or vocations involve the public trust. Betraying that trust is a serious crime.
11. Certain crimes are deemed so heinous as to require mandatory minimum sentences without parole.
12. Business, particularly small business, provides the economic life of the State.
13. Work provides a positive element to a person's life.
14. The State's Constitution should be an organic and flexible document that can adjust to changing times.
15. Prisons exist to protect the public and to punish the criminal; not to rehabilitate the criminal.
16. Schooling at levels 1 and 2 is a right; at level 3 it is a privilege.